Which do you want first?
Okay, so I’m trying not to dwell on the bad. So the good first.
The keys to my Nissan Altima (2000) got mangled and the plastic on the key top cracked. So, I went to the dealership to get a new key made. Uh, yeah, $84 for the key and $26 to “program” it. Seriously. While I was waiting to see if they had a key blank I strike up a conversation with one of the sales guys.
Turns out, Stephen used to deliver food there every Saturday and they have been wondering and praying since they hadn’t heard how he was doing. I had said to him “well, I might be looking for a minivan in a month or so” (because the legs aren’t getting better, more on that later). I tell him that I can’t finance anything but that I would trade my car.
An hour later, I’m driving a ’99 Oldsmobile Shilouette. For a straight up trade. My car was worth about 1K less than the van but they really wanted to help us out. They even took care of the fees and added a 1 year powertrain warranty. I almost cried. Every guy in there came up to me and told me that they missed seeing him around and that they were glad to do something.
How about that little miracle?
So, the defeat. The chemo isn’t working anymore. His lungs are riddled with tumors. Larger and more of them. That’s after a good report on the CT a month ago. The local Oncologist (the one who didn’t listen to me when I said that his legs were weak) said that we could A) make him comfortable and stop chemo OR B) try to get him strong enough to try a different chemo. Stephen isn’t giving up yet so A isn’t an option. The Mayo Oncologists weren’t willing to give up so easily either but our time there is done as far as the insurance company is concerned.
This is going downhill in a hurry, girls. He looks awful. And everyone keeps telling us that he’s just tired from the radiation. I just have a really bad feeling about this. I hate being right. I hate seeing it coming. I hate having the bad feeling. And I can’t talk to anyone about it because I don’t want to be right. I don’t want to scare anyone by projecting my fears on them.
Notes to self. 