You shouldn’t be alone at Christmas.

And to think that I almost bagged this day before it began.

A friend and I dyed playsilks today. 18 of them to be exact. We could have done probably 20 more if we had had the silks. It was sooo much fun. I’ll have to post pics. It was the only crafty thing I’ve done for the holidays. But they turned out so nice. We used KA on some of them and plain old food coloring on some of the others. Nothing fancy here. I hope they hold up. They turned out really great. Except for my attempt at brown. When rinsed, it was a blotchy purpleish, yellowish, greenish. It looks like rotavirus. What a hoot though. We had a great time.

Here’s the thing. We had fun dyeing them but the kiddos (5 of them from 9yo to 12 months) had a ball rolling in them and trying them on and picking their favorite colors. If they had been like “eh” and threw them to the side it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun. Every kid ought to have a rainbow like this. And to think, I almost canceled on her.

My parents aren’t coming until tomorrow morning. Tonight is blizzard like. I’m glad that I don’t have to stay up and wait and worry. I was wishing that they would call and say “oh, sorry, too snowy to travel…” No such luck. I know it’s just a few days and it’s just *my* family so I don’t have to play nice all the time but still. It’s popping my vision of my holiday. Or, lack thereof. I’m trying. I really am.

Why does everyone (and by everyone, I mean everyone older than 45 who doesn’t know me all that well) think that I just shouldn’t be alone at Christmas? First of all, I have my girls. They are the ones I really want to be around. Most of the time. And, second of all, shouldn’t I be the one to judge when I need people around and when I don’t. I certainly don’t need to be molly-coddled. Back the F off. I know everyone means well. I know that everyone, collectively, knows not what to say. I get that. But just know, “everyone”, that it’s *your* awkwardness towards me and *your* personal feelings that are dragging me down. I don’t like to feel bad for you. I don’t want to comfort you because you were related to/married to/knew/worked with someone with cancer. Some live and some don’t. Science will probably never catch up. I got 7 years with him. Some don’t even get that. And I’m sorry.

2008 has to be better.

Here’s an answer to a burning question. The “gap” brand underwear? Best. Ever. I may just chuck all my old, pre-baby drawers and get new ones. I bought 2 pair just to try them and they are wonderful. My old ones were purchased on tour in, oh, 1999 so it’s probably time. It’s like the whole haircut thing. I don’t get a haircut very often because it’s a royal pain to find a babysitter to do anything so haircuts are deadass last on my list. But when I do, I think to myself “Self, why don’t we do this more often?” Why do I suffer with bagged out elastic and thin cotton when I can have gap goodness caressing my butt?


One thought on “You shouldn’t be alone at Christmas.

  1. The question was not, “why couldn’t I spend Christmas alone” but rather, if “” escape to Iowa, what can be gained over staying in NE?

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