C.R.I.B. (it’s a 4 letter word in my house)

The last few nights I’ve been trying to get Amelia used to sleeping in her own bed. I don’t really mind that she’s in here but she’s starting to take up space. And, this is about the age that we started transitioning Ella to her own bed. It took a few months but one night, after baths, she hopped up on her bed and declared it her big girl bed and, with few exceptions, has been there ever since. She was 20 months the last time she slept with us. I’m hoping for a repeat. But I suspect with her personality and nursing style, it may take longer. Like, a major trip out of town where we aren’t in the same state for a time period.My kids have never slept in cribs. I’m not saying that it makes me better or anything it’s just that I value convenient sleep over solitary sleeping. Same thing with the ultimate reason to breastfeed: I’m too lazy to fix a bottle. There. I said it. The kid gets fed no matter what but I am too lazy. I’m just now getting the hang of sippy cups and which ones suck and which valves go with which cup…I may, quite possibly, be the laziest parent evah. Maybe not. My BIL is right up there but he has the distinction of LazYBoy parenting. Kinda like the armchair quarterback. Ok. Exactly like the armchair quarterback.

Ready for a picture progression? This is the story, a fairy tale of sorts, about 2 little girls going to bed.

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Just lay down, you say? Nay, Nay…I want that bed!

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One more story mommy, peeeese??

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No?? Are you sure?? Still no?

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Going for backup.

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See, Melia…sleep. Lay down Melia. Night Night Melia. Look at Ella. Night Night.

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If only it were this easy. If only. El Fin.

I bought a baby monitor today so I can hear Amelia sleeping in my bedroom and be in the basement sewing or whatever and not have to worry that she is going to dive off the end of the bed. She has respect for beds and stairs and whatnot. It’s just that sometimes she gets into a spot and doesn’t know how far down the next step is.

We’ve lived here for a month and it’s disturbing how quiet and calm things are. We have a routine, sort of, and the days pass. And Amelia is 17 months old today. And it’s been 3 months since Stephen died. And the days click by. And we make plans and appointments and playdates and go on trips.

Those 6 months that he was sick messed up my sense of time. When every. single. day. is full of worry and is pecked to death by, if nothing else, the clock…the days are painful and slow even when they are relatively uneventful.

I kept thinking today about how quickly the last 3 months have gone. I feel like I’m whole again with the relationship with my girls. And then some. We’ve made some adjustments. We’ve grown. We’re together. And in some ways it’s easier but in most ways, it’s pretty hard. Going from a democracy to (what’s the word??) diplomacy? Maybe that’s not right. But basically we used to bounce ideas about the family or the kids or our families or our marriage off of each other. And then we’d decide and try to be a team. It almost always worked. That’s what made us work. But now, everything is my call. 2 kids, 3 families, 1 residence,1 vehicle, 1 checkbook.

And me. I have me to take care of me. I made a dentist appointment today. So it’s a start.

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