I have a prayer answered. It’s a short prayer but it’s been urgent.
I have a babysitter.
That may seem trivial but this mama needs a break. My babysitter is the 14 year old daughter of our local lactation consultant. I’ve known her since Will was born. I knew she had daughters and yet it never occurred to me to ask if they ever babysit. When I was at the hospital to help with baby Jillian’s birth (who, as a sidenote, is so beautiful that I could almost cry especially in the tiny cloth I made just for her) we talked about how I needed a mother’s helper. And she does help! She is great with the girls and even cleaned the toyroom today.
I got out and went to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I’m not impressed with their “Bed” section. Everything feels really cheapo. But the “Beyond” section sucked me in. I got 2 Yankee Candles (because I’m weak like that) and a slip cover for my couch which is Beyond cleaning.
Who buys champagne colored microfiber couches? We did. And then we had children. More precisely, we had children who never have clean hands and have a tendency to urp on anything that is not machine washable. So, slipcover it is. It looks like I’m hiding a Delorean under there. But, it matches my LazEBoy so that’s what counts. It’s a SureFit silpcover and it’s stretchy so it looks a teensy bit tailored. I don’t know. It still looks a little trailer park. Like, old people trailer park not trailer trash which is what it looked like “before”.
On the flipside of getting out alone is being alone. You’d think that wouldn’t be weird for someone who doesn’t like lots of people around and has generally isolated herself to a few close friends in the last couple of months. You’d think. So I’m driving around, being blinded by the coldness, but it’s sunny. So I turn on the radio having just discovered that nobody is watching Tom and Jerry in the backseat. I haven’t had the radio on in forever. The station was still tuned to country music.
I only listen to country in the summer or when the sun is out. Don’t ask me why. Stephen was the same way. It was one of the first conversations we ever had. (The second conversation was about how Ashton Kutcher was a terrible actor and that he really didn’t sweep up Cheerios dust like he said in People Magazine…turns out he and Stephen used to party at the same bar in Iowa City…he never worked at the General Mills plant and even if he did, they don’t make Cheerios at that plant but I digress…) I lasted about 5 minutes with the radio on. And then I had to pull over. I thought I was having a heart attack. Not really. But I think it was an anxiety attack. Provoked by George Strait.
He’s really, for real not coming back. I could use him.
AF returned for real last night. Really for real. Like Mr. Garrison, I too am confused about someone who could “bleed for 5 days and not die”. I feel like my hoo is on fire. Stephen would lay behind me in bed and reach over and put his hand where I was cramping and hold it there until I was asleep. The warmth and pressure was better than any motrin ever would be. I shouldn’t complain about AF. Since late 2001, I’ve only had 7 visits. It’s my turn. But I’m still going to be a whiney baby about it.
Ella gave Amelia an earful because Amelia got into my “sticks” when I was in shower. Those would be tampons. At least she didn’t unwrap them all. And Ella put them back. I usually don’t keep them in reach but I’ve needed them about every hour today. One day I will have to have that conversation with them about the usefulness of the “sticks”. Wow. So totally not looking forward to that.
You know it’s been a long time since the last real AF when Tampax has changed their box/wrapper/tube design at least twice since you last purchased them.