This day is better than the last 300.

We are home now. I got tired of sleeping with both children so it was time to be in our own spaces.

I have to say that the last 4 days were better than the last 300 have been. Any of the last 300 days. All of them. I wish I could pin down what it was. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was the good company. The good shopping. Children who behaved. Relaxed attitudes about everything. Plenty of snacks. Plenty of sleep. Or probably the combination of things all coming together when we needed it most.

I swear, we were about 10 minutes from a bad case of the rickets and now we are all Vitamin D’d up. I don’t even mind that there is still snow on the ground here. The sun was shining all the way home and that’s what counts. We made it through the worst part of winter and we are on our way to being outside and having the house open. I can’t wait to sleep just under a quilt. I love it when my kids smell like sunshine.

Ella got skates while we were away. I got them at target (’cause if Target doesn’t have it, you don’t need it). They are “trainer” skates by Little Tykes. They have 3 inline wheels that are positioned so there’s on in front and two in back like old school skates. But a heel brake like inline skates. She’s probably too little for skates but I dont’ care and she loves them. Here’s the link to the slideshow:¤t=f0fa63a4.pbw

I also got her a bike. It’s the littlest bike ever. I had to put it together. And then show her how to ride it. She doesn’t quite get the concept of the coaster brake or the whole pedal up and down thing. She keeps wanting to put her feet forward like a trike. I don’t know how to explain it differently. I also got her a little glove and teeball. I kind of went crazy with the outdoor toys. I guess the weather got to me.

It’s hard being mom and dad. Stephen and I had always talked about things we wanted to teach our kids. Even before we had kids. Like the bike and cooking and driving and fishing and hunting and sewing. Some things are mom and some things are dad. My dad taught me to drive. My mom taught me to sew. Dad: bike. Mom: skate. So now it’s up to me. I feel like if I let someone else do it (like Robyn’s husband or one of the grandpas) then that’s betraying what Stephen and I had dreamt for our children. It’s like how I feel awful that he never got to see Amelia walk and never heard her say “Ella” or “grandpa”. He never got to take them to the ocean or Disneyworld or to see Old Faithful. So now I have to do it. And think that he would really have liked to have been there.

It’s nice to be home. I liked being away but I have to get ready for company. Lots to do. But there is something to be said for a nice, restful vacation. I feel like I can do it.

There has been a definite shift in my attitude. I wish I could place it. I wish I knew what it was so that I could make it happen again if I needed it.


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