The girls and I are leaving for O-town tomorrow morning. It will be a very telling day, I think. I have a production meeting and after, the girls and I are going to walk around the day care. I really wonder what will happen at daycare. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, my kids will probably do fine, have fun and be happy in that environment which brings up the subject of me going out and getting a job. On the other hand, I still think that being home with my girls is the most important thing I could do at this point.
I’ve had quite a few conversations with my mom and sister over the last few days. I’m irritated by the situation all around. It makes me want to stay in a hotel and just do it all myself. Originally, we were going to stay at my sister’s house. Now, we are spending 90% of our time at my mom’s. She is taking the kids to daycare and picking them up (going to work at the restaurant in between) all week. Which is wonderful. She said to my sister, “Do you think she’ll pay me for my time? I’m missing lots of work for this” My dad gave her “the look.”
Yep. My mom. Wants to be paid for helping with her own grandkids. Just for a week. Seriously. I wish I could say I’m surprised. But I’m not.
I will do something nice for her. And everyone else who was inconvienced. But seriously. Even this is about her. She’s known about it since November. And this is still about her. She still gets her time. And this is still about her. I’m the one leaving the house at 7am and getting home at midnight for 10 days in a row. And this is still about her.
I’m making the weekend about me though. I dropped a bomb on her when I told her that she was welcome to go to church on Sunday but that I wouldn’t be joining her. I have my reasons and only some of the reasons have to do with my faith issues at the moment. Some of them involve battling 2 small children in a strange town. Some of them involve the people in her church knowing my business before I know their names. But mostly, I don’t feel like playing nice. Smiling. Makeup. Sweaty pits. Occupying toddlers. Nope. Not this time.