Oh, Ethan Hawke, where have you gone? From excited tweener in The Explorers (mmm…early River Phoenix) to grungy Reality Bites, smokin’ Camels with Winona Rider. Oh, and Dead Poets Society in between, all dreamy and sad. I only mention him because I caught the middle of Reality Bites tonight while folding the endless pile of laundry. The film came out the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college, at the very end of grunge-dom, right before the boy bands came in and right as retro-style came into fashion. Ethan was a touch ahead of his time. Or his character was. What a trip down memory lane that provoked.
Dreams of the City (that would be NYC), candles and incense, new age music, the Camels that I tried but couldn’t make work for me, cheapo six packs. We would stay up all night talking, making fun of each other, talking shit about the goody-goodies in the dorm, writing poetry, writing papers, writing in journals. Not alot of sleep until the wee hours. And even then, it was rolling out of bed at the crack of noon on a Saturday and going to the laundromat in our PJ bottoms because nothing else was clean. Well anyway, I was still the quiet dorky kid who just wanted to be part of the fun crowd. I would do just about anything that anybody wanted me to do. I worked hard so they let me hang out. I kept my mouth shut and learned alot, probably for the last time in my life.
I enrolled Ella in swimming lessons for July and for tot lot (like summer preschool on a playground) for June. She and I are much better off when she’s busy. She’s been better the last few days. Maybe she senses that I need a little space. Or maybe she got things figured out in her head about her dad. She has stopped saving food for him, picking flowers for him, making cards for him. I should keep all that stuff but I have to believe that he sees it. And maybe he is the one speaking to her, I don’t know. He spoke to me. My grey eyebrow hair is back. So…plucking it didn’t make it go away.
“Rent” is on tv, the movie made from the musical. It was Stephen’s favorite show. I know he didn’t get into the artsy dance and junk like I did. I like a classic musical any day of the week (Guys and Dolls, anyone?) but he liked the new ones. Right before we got engaged, we went to Rent together when it was at the performing arts center where I worked. I had never seen it and didn’t know the music. It was his third time. He couldn’t get enough of it. I bought the movie for him right after it came out and we watched it together once or twice. But he watched it more often than I did. It has naughty words and sex and drugs so I did the responsible mom thing and didn’t watch it with the children around which means…I didn’t watch it. I never did find out why he liked it. He didn’t get into the NYC scene. He wasn’t into musicals at all (and teased me for having a shelf full of show tune CDs). I’m trying to remember if he said anything about what appealed to him. And I can’t remember at all. He probably told me and I was probably thinking “Is it my turn to do the dishes tonight or his?”
This trip down memory lane is brought to you by Digital Cable.