We are leaving for the inlaws in the morning. And while I have not perfected the art of teleportation, the drive isn’t as painful as one would have you believe. I can’t think of anyone who would willingly drive 6 hours with 2 littes but my kidlets are well traveled. It’s generally painless. Except that my sunglasses are missing and my crow’s feet might age about six years before we actually get there.
I am in a mood that Stephen would have described as “punchy.” I’m ready to pick a fight. I’m ready to tell someone off.
The girls and I dropped off a gift for a friend’s kid tonight. And, since we were out (and I didn’t want to cook) we went to Subway for supper. You know, all ham sandwiches, all the time around here. The girls know the drill. They sit. I order. I get drinks. We eat. So I put the baggie of sandwiches (sidenote: why waste a baggie if you know I’m staying to eat…) in front of them and go to get chocolate milk from the cooler. In the 7 seconds that my back was turned, Amelia dumped out my sandwich and opened the paper which released the lettuce and cucumbers from their wheat and cheese cocoon.
Said the old man sitting across from the girls, “Hurry!!”
So I’m picking up lettuce off the bench and hoping beyond all hope that the person sitting there before me didn’t have a wet fart. Kind of disgusted but too cheap to actually chuck said sandwich and get a new one. And I can’t really be mad at Amelia. It was my fault that I didn’t put them out of reach and she was really, really hungry.
He gets up and goes to throw away *his* baggie and says “Not much of a sandwich left.”
I grunted. I actually grunted at him. I mean, why say anything at all?
On an unrelated note, why do I feel less fat with a tan? Why is pasty and fat worse than bronzed and fat? I would tan myself into a penny loafer if it meant that I could shop in the “Misses” section again.
So, that’s it. I probably won’t have internet for a few days unless I escape for a cinnamon crunch bagel and an iced coffee at Panera and I don’t know how likely that scenario is. I am hopefully going to be in the air conditioning, horizontal, with a good book.