I went to get my yearly snatch check today. (Just callin’ a duck, a duck yo) All is well down under, thanks. I asked to get my thyroid function checked. I explained what was going on with my mood swings and insomnia and weight gain (and the inability to lose weight even though I worked really hard at it). *I* still am guessing thyroid but I won’t know until Monday.
She also did a lipid panel because my BP was through the roof (for me). I think it was 138/92. It’s usually about 100/70. My blood sugar was fine.
She thinks I should go on the pill to regulate AF. I can go 4 or 5 months w/o a period and that’s not good. Like my body is in a constant state of PMS. Yep. That’s me. Which causes stress b/c of the mood swings which causes AF to be late. Repeat, repeat. Anyway, so the one time that I’m not having sex in my adult life, I end up on BCP. Figures.
I wish I knew what I needed so I knew what I needed to get fixed. Maybe it’s all my imagination?
I don’t want to be that person. That person with so much time on her hands that she seems to invent things wrong. But you know, I just don’t feel right. I don’t know that it’s medical and I certainly don’t want to be medicated to death even though I do believe the mantra “better living through pharmaceuticals.”
I love my midwife. I think she’s very mainstream and tries to stick to what an OB/GYN would say (which isn’t always a good thing) but she’s a good listener for the most part. She’s built like a Barbie doll and has a gentle voice. She listened to me for almost a half an hour like I was the only person in the world. She tried to tell me that I needed to be with other single parents. I disagree.
The problem with living in middle America, corn belt is that if you are even a little bit out of the norm, there isn’t often someone like you. Let’s say that I go to a group for single parents…how many are widows? How many are divorced or never married? 90/10? 80/20? 98/2? I don’t feel that I have much in common with someone that shares custody with a man on the other side of town. That, hardly, constitutes being in the same “support” group.
I know what this is. I am making excuses…right? I will never find someone like me because I can’t see past my own trials and pains to look for it. That’s how I feel. The same reason why I haven’t looked for a support group, actively. I can’t possibly empathize or take on someone else’s feelings when I barely have a handle on my own. I can’t be a support to anyone else right now so it’s not hardly fair (to the group) if I’m going to take and not give.
Enough about me.
I’m teaching a friend how to sew (which is hella fun). Yesterday we piled the kids in the toy room with a bag of suckers and turned on Noggin. And we made 3 flannel nightgowns and 1 pair of Transformers lounge pants. We had set out to make one nightgown for her daughter and call it a day. And then Amelia saw it, pointed and squealed that she wanted one. And then Ella too. Her son got the pants because he is a superhero/transformer/power rangers nut. (I’m glad that I have girls but oh how I wish to raise a boy.) We had an awesome time laughing at our own mistakes and celebrating the successes, not the least of which was 4 usable garments. Makes me want to go on a fabric buying binge. Oh, wait, too late.
My bestest diva friend is coming for a visit tomorrow from Nevada, sans child. That should be fun. I am looking forward to a weekend with my friend and not having the days filled with playdates and chicken nuggets like every other weekend. Instead we can sew or hang out during the day and sip a little gin (or vodka) and juice every night! It will be like a 4 day slumber party.
Wake me when I’m sober.