As I write this, Amelia is in the middle of a bad habit. She went to bed early, as she often does, but is in the habit of waking after just a few hours of sleep. She comes out of her my room in her footie jammies and rubbing her eyes, looking all cute. She climbs into my lap and snuggles in for a bit. After a while she will jump down and demand “milkie” and “cracker cheese” (cheddar jack cheezits). So goes my hope for an early bedtime. I needed it too.
Ella has given me a raging case of the booger cough. There was no cold to go with it, just a constant snot drip down the back of my throat. It makes for a pretty morning, let me say that. And the cough. Oh, the cough. The cough that makes me pee just a little (also thanks to little #2) so now I have that not so fresh feeling.
I put Jess on a plane this afternoon and, one hour later, my parents were at my door…ringing the doorbell at naptime. Nice. No rest for the weary and crabby. I didn’t even have a chance to change the sheets. In a welcome turn of events, they decided to hotel it for tonight and stay with me tomorrow night. Tomorrow is due to be a “work day”. I am expected to have a list of things to keep my dad busy so he doesn’t sit on my couch and drink coffee all day. Not that I care. The kids like hanging on him and it takes the pressure off me. He hasn’t seen them since May. And that’s my fault.
When I think of my parents, I think of their behavior back at Memorial Day and get all kinds of cranky. I shouldn’t hold a grudge. I should just let it go. I should put myself in their shoes (even though they both appear incapable of putting themselves in mine). They didn’t know the power of their words or their actions. I spend much of my time figuring out how to keep the (former) inlaws in the loop as far as the littles are concerned but I don’t give a second thought to my own parents. And I probably should. I’ll work on that.
Stephen’s headstone got set yesterday. Today, in the rain, I went to look at it. I have to say that I’m a little disappointed. And maybe it’s because it was wet and dreary but the letters are really hard to see. I’m pleased at how the signature showed up and how the symbol on top looks with the shape of the stone but you can’t see the kids’ names very well. When I drove up and saw the stone where there was once only a cement slab, I thought “well, that’s it then.” And it is. That’s the last “thing” I can do for him. It the last material decision to make. The last bill to pay. Just over a year later.
I will post a picture as soon as I get a nice day to photograph it. I might enlist someone with a better camera to better preserve the moment. Or…I should save my nickels and get a better camera for myself. I’ll put it on the list. You know, the ever growing list of things I should be saving my dollars to buy. That isn’t happening due to a number of factors, not the least of which is my addiction to eating out, going out of town and internet shopping. It’s not out of control or anything…not like this time last year…no mystery ebay packages or anything…yet….