A once in a decade sleeping event.

I’m still here.  And still coughing myself into a prolapsed uterus.  Or bladder.  Or whatever girly bits have decided to turn themselves inside out at the moment.  I called my friendly family doctor today to request more cough syrup of the narcotic variety and/or more steroid.  I’d just like to either breathe easy but cough or not cough at all and concentrate on breathing.  I got a call back (three long hours later…thankyouverymuch) saying to use the inhaler (either doesn’t work or the problem is between the device and my lungs…that would be me) and that the doctor would like for me to get a chest xray. 

Seriously?  A phone call to the pharmacy would have been much easier on all of us.  At least then I wouldn’t have to find a babysitter for the littles so I could get a 14 second xray.  The kicker is that I won’t know the results of said xray until, hmmm, sometime tomorrow afternoon.  Seriously?  I’ve seen xrays read in minutes and it’s going to take more than 24 hours for someone to decide that I still have bronchitis? 

And as a sidenote, I’d like to stop peeing just a little with every cough.  Considering that I cough about a thousand times an hour, that’s alot of pee.  I’m just saying.  My house is going to smell like a nursing home if this doesn’t resolve soon.

My luck?  It’ll be some kind of asbestos poisoning that’s really rare and is fixin’ to kill me in the next six months.  Did I say that outloud?

There is a silver lining to all of this.  IF the stars align and IF all goes as planned, both littles are sleeping in a different county tomorrow night courtesy of my very, very good friends who offered to take BOTH of them.  Even the one who thinks she has to nurse in the middle of the night but really is just too lazy to put herself back to sleep.  Have fun with that, Becky!  Just kidding.  They will both do better at someone else’s house than they do for me.  That’s the way it is with everyone’s kids, right?

So I will be sleeping in a house alone for the first night in…a decade?  Weird, right?  I’m looking forward to it.  If I’m not hospitalized that is.  It would throw a wrench in the “eat a yummy dinner, get hammered, watch Grey’s, pass out and wake in time to see Twilight before all the teeney boppers get out of school” plan.  But at least I wouldn’t have to sleep with someone attached to me.

I am super excited and I will soooo totally owe Ben and Becky for this if it works out.


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