Giving thanks (or It could be worse).

The verdict is in: we are staying home this Thanksgiving.  I could have done it.  The drive, the family (that isn’t mine), the curse of the traveling littles.  In fact, as I was cruising down the interstate to the Amish bulk foods store (where else are you going to buy *just* the marshmallows that go into a box of Lucky Charms?), I kind of wished that we were in it for the long haul.  It was a beautiful day for travel and the littles were quite content. 

Oh well…tomorrow will be good too.  I have a handle on the turkey thing and I have a plan.  No chores or sewing or yelling.  We will stay in our sweats (or not get dressed at all) and play CandyLand and Memory and Playdoh.  We will make forts and I will drag the dollhouse out into the living room.  I might even get out some Christmas decorations and movies but maybe not.  We aren’t getting our tree for a week or two yet so other decorations are kind of early.  I do wish that I had a wreath for the door or something. 

I have been on edge for about three days.  I wish I knew why.  It might be the pound of Reese’s Pieces that may or may not have been consumed.  By me.  It might be the lack of either fruit or vegetable.  Maybe I might have forgotten to shower for a day or two.  Maybe it’s the guilt?  The guilt that comes from knowing a weakness and preying on it.  Hard to say.

Is it the impending holiday season that, last year, I effectively ignored?  And now it is staring me down and challenging me to a rematch.

Or maybe it’s because I went to my first movie theatre movie on Monday.  And we used to go all the time, together.  He would have loved Twilight.  (I did…it had a kick ass soundtrack) 

So instead of being all up in my own funk, I should just be thankful since that is the season.

I am thankful for my girls.  For their health mostly but also their spirit, energy, spunk and their distinct lack of being publicly bratty.

I am thankful for my friends.  The ones that don’t tell me that I’m crazy (to my face) and who invite us into their own families and memories.  Thanks for sticking around.

I am mostly thankful for my family.  As families go, they stay out of my day to day life but are there when I really need them. 

I am thankful for my own health.  Although I have come down with every virus west of the Mississippi since last holiday season, I have never been afflicted with anything serious enough to warrant worry. 

I am thankful that Stephen is still the provider for this family and I am able to be home with my girls.  As much as I bitch about how things would be easier if I could just go to work, I have always been happiest at home being a mom.  I am happy that we are fed and sheltered and warm and blessed with so much more than we truly need. 

I am blessed.  That’s for sure.  You wouldn’t think that I could or would even have the energy or the strength to see beyond what really is a shitty situation and one that I never imagined, asked for or even, arguably, deserved.  I am able to shrug my shoulders and say to anyone that asks…

“Meh.  Could be worse.”

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