Well, I’m officially full of the angry. Which is hard to do these days courtesy of CVS pharmacy. But I am absolutely seeing red.
I told FIL back in early May that I was planning a trip in late July to work on a one day gig. They have friends, coincidentally, who run a campground in that very. same. town. I asked if the girls could camp with them that weekend and we’d meet up again after my (one day) gig was over. Not too much to ask. I mean, it’s a win-win for all considered. They get quality time. The girls get to camp and be with the grandparents that they have only seen once since October. I get a day or so to hang with my friends and network a little and work.
So late tonight (after the littles are in bed), FIL calls. With a crappy cell connection to boot. He wants to know about my house. So I tell him what I know. I ask if he’s ready to camp with the littles.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to work.”
Uh, okay. (beat. beat.) Are you going to Colorado?
Sidenote: I knew this was coming and I baited him. If you Twitter, I see it. If you Facebook, I see that too. If you don’t want me to know, don’t post it.
“Yeah, we really need to get out of town.”
Okay. Well my folks are coming next week for Ella’s birthday. (this is a hint)
“We are leaving middle of next week. [MIL] will put a card in the mail for Ella. We got her a gift card so you can do up her new room after you move in.”
I am quiet. Don’t know what to say. The steaming rage hasn’t set in yet. Okay well…
“I’ll call you later this week or this weekend when I can get a better connection.”
I hung up the phone. And cried.
I gave him plenty of notice. I am trying not to ask for much (and certainly not money, I have learned). It is not often that I need help and I find a way that they can. Like I said, I thought it was a win-win. I guess I was wrong.
I was wrong to think that they might want to be a bigger part of the girls’ lives. You know, since it was their son.
I was wrong to think that the road goes both ways. I was wrong to think that it is more difficult for us to go to them rather than vice versa.
I was wrong to think that gas money is a bigger percentage of my budget than his.
It is bad enough that I am plagued with mommy guilt every time I get a babysitter and, oh I don’t know, go get a haircut or spend a night out with friend? Now I have daughter-in-law guilt to go with it. Am I asking too much? Not enough? Should I demand more? Less? Should I quietly slip away and let them make the effort when they feel like it? Chase them to Colorado and demand some quality time?
No matter what I choose, I guess I am wrong.
Wrong to even ask.